Tuesday, December 28, 2010

From The Gods?

According to Greek mythology, Harmonia was the daughter of Ares, the god of war, and Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty, love, and sexuality!  Granted, Harmonia's marriage to Cadmus was wrought with misfortune and grief, she is the goddess of harmony and concord, and her name alone evokes passion and loveliness. 

The Harmonia by Close2You, evokes much of the same feelings.  I read every review available on Eden Fantasys before deciding to purchase this lovely piece.  It seemed that everyone who had tried it had managed to find their g-spot and have orgasms with this and I needed a piece of that action!  Finally, I received my Holiday Coupon from Eden, converted my points, used all my accrued gift cards, and put it into the cart (along with a few other choice items).

Anxiously, I awaited my delivery.  I honestly don't think I'd ever been that excited for a package from Eden before.  Possibly for my Amethyst, but even still, I'm not sure.  When our package arrived, I opened it immediately.  I saw the beautiful box that Close2You's products come in and just about died.

Let me talk about this packaging for a minute, okay?  Beautiful white box that is nice, quality cardboard.  There are two drawers.  The first contains the Harmonia, which comes nestled in a sturdy foam inset.  The drawer below it is where all the accessories are.  It comes with a beautiful purple velvet bag; a sample of their water-based lube, Glissando (which EF does not carry); a purple silicone cock ring; batteries; and a toy wipe.  Yay!  Gifts with purchase!

We have tried everything except the toy wipe.  Their lube is very smooth, albeit a little runny.  Similar to Astroglide.  The cock ring was nice and stretchy and we were able to get it all the way around My Mr.'s package with very pleasing results.  The batteries ran out quickly; they basically lasted one use for me, but I also did not remove them from my toy after use, so I don't know if they would have lasted if I'd been more careful.                                                

This is such a nice toy.  It is made from a delightfully smooth silicone.  There is a seam in the center but you don't even notice it at all.  One of my favorite things about this toy is that there are two separate buttons.  One for "On/Off" and one to go through the vibrations and patterns.  This means if you're done, you don't have to cycle through, you can just turn it off.  There is no memory, however, so if you pass your pattern, you'll have to go cycle through it to get back to it.

One thing I should mention is that Close2You's idea behind these toys (others include the Opus, Sinfonia, Legamento, and Rhapsodia) is music.  So if you are at all musically adept or have studied any kind of music theory, you will hear music in the patterns.  Now I will go through the vibrations and patterns with you:

  1. Low straight vibrations
  2. Medium straight vibrations
  3. High straight vibrations
  4. Escalating vibrations with a short pause between cycles (do re miiii)
  5. Short pulsing vibrations in a basic 4/4 time.  (do do do do)
  6. Escalates upwards then three short pulses (think, do re mi fa fa fa), then cycles through
  7. Six short pulses, then one long vibration, then cycles through (doo doo doo doo doo doo dooooooooooo)
  8. Shorter steady vibration, then four shorter pulses and a longer steady vibration, then it pauses and starts again. (duuuuum dum dum dum dum duuuuummmmm)
For me, 4 and 7 are really good for warming up, 6 and 8 are the money patterns for me.  The rest are okay but don't really do much for me.  Although, to work on multiples, if I switch to the high setting after my first orgasm, I can achieve a couple more orgasms with some very light thrusting. And while the concept is musical, this toy is not very loud.  Under some covers and a closed door will make this silent to the outside world.

Since learning about my not-very-erectile g-spot, the design of this toy is kind of perfect for my body.  It's long enough to get to my sweet spot while still having enough of the handle to control the toy, and the large bulb really hits my g-spot nicely. And as a bigger woman, I have to say that it's very user-friendly.

Clean up is easy too.  Just a quick wash with your favorite toy cleaner (mine is Climax Bursts), or warm water and a mild soap, and you're good to go.  (If you're planning on sharing this, you can also spray it down with a 10% bleach solution and sterilize it.) It does collect a bit of lint, so you want to at least rinse it off before you use it.  Please, please only use water-based lubricants with this toy.  You do not want to damage such a lovely piece of orgasmic art.

Since music is the theme of this toy, I took the liberty of looking up the word "Harmony" on dictionary.com.  Yes, I already knew what the word meant, but I wanted to get a little technical.  The third definition is the most fitting.  Quite simply, it says "agreeable sounds."  Well, I think My Mr. can confirm that the noises I make when using this is quite agreeable indeed!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

A Soft Coochy

I cannot begin to tell you how many times over the course of my marriage that My Mr. wished that I would shave my lady bits!  Often, I'd blow off the initial request.  It's time consuming and not an easy endeavor.  After about the 3rd request I usually will give in and take the hour to trim, then shave my girlie area.

Then.  Then the hair grows back.  The itching starts.  The bumps are painful.  And I tell My Mr.:  NEVER. AGAIN.  Until about 1 year goes by and I do it all over again.

So, at the beginning of this journey I was posed with the same question:  Please, will you shave for me?  I decided to go ahead and do it.  I had him trim me with a beard trimmer then took to the bathtub to shave it bare.  I managed to give myself a good shave and made the resolution that I would do this about every 2-3 days to avoid many of the problems that I encountered before. 

After about a month of maintaining I decided that I would try and find a product that is designed just for this purpose.  Since Eden is a shop that I really trust, along with the opinions of their community, I began searching Eden and came across Coochy, by Classic Erotica.  There are plenty of reviews for Coochy on the Eden website, so I got to reading and decided that this was the product I needed to try, along with the Protection Mist that is recommended.

Coochy is about the consistency of hair conditioner (and you can even use it as that if you would like).  I got it in the Green Tea scent and it smells almost exactly like Elizabeth Arden's Green Tea perfume.  It is a little strong, but still has a really soothing scent.

The Protection Mist has a much more pungent "herbal" scent, but once it dries it's gone and you are still left smelling like your Coochy Cream.  The purpose of this spray is that it will leave a smooth layer of protection between your freshly shaven skin and your clothing to avoid irritation.  I've found this even works on freshly shaven legs, which I decided to test since I have such terribly dry skin in the winter.  But, at the price, I do not do this every time I shave.

(For both of these products you will want to check out the ingredients on both items to make sure you are not allergic to anything before purchasing...these ingredients are available on the product pages linked throughout.)

I was really excited to try this out.  It came in the mail, in Eden's, usual discreet packaging, and I had it up in the bathroom within minutes.  I knew this was coming so I didn't shave for a couple of days.  I used a fresh razor, which is always important to avoid problems with nicks and razor burn.  I got a really smooth shave!  I was in love!  After showering and drying off, I used the Protection Mist, which has a 360-degree spray ability (which I think is really nice) and let it dry.  I got dressed and didn't even have the chafing that naturally happens to me when I put on panties after I shave.  (It's not usually bad, but I definitely can feel the material rubbing against the sensitive, exposed skin.)

After about 2 weeks of using this product I was having some difficulties with shaving.  More irritation than usual and not getting as close as I would like.  I did find that changing to the Venus disposable razors for sensitive skin did help and I also now do a preliminary shave with my body wash, then switch to the Coochy to get the closer shave.  This helped a lot and I got the closest, smoothest shave I've ever managed.

All in all, I would recommend this product to someone who wants to shave delicate skin, and I have already recommended it to friends.  The cream offers a nice layer of protection between your skin and the blade.  The mist offers protection from your clothing on freshly shaven skin.  Two solid wins for me!

Friday, December 17, 2010

A G-Spot Discovered!!!

"Mmmm.  Thank you God for the G-spot!"  I've been saying that for a few weeks now!

A little information about the G-spot.  It is erectile tissue that is located up above your pubic bone.  When you become aroused, the G-spot enlarges so that it is able to be stimulated during sex.  It feels like a nubbly sponge.  It's very textured and squishy.  How much tissue you have, how erect it becomes, how sensitive it is... well all that is individual to each woman.  So if you haven't found yours yet, take heart!  You are not alone and you are not dysfunctional.

This photo taken from http://www.disabled-world.com
(Well, maybe you are but that probably has nothing to do with your G-spot!  Then again, aren't we all a little dysfunctional??)

I am one of those women who never had an orgasm with intercourse.  My Mr. has always been very generous to make sure he gave me a clitoral orgasm, but I know that secretly (and sometimes not-so-secretly) he wondered if he was doing a good job since I couldn't orgasm.  Frankly, I think movies and TV are to blame for this misconception that sex feels amazing for women and orgasm every time they have sex.  Of course, after 9 years of having sex, he did finally realize that it's not him, it's really me.

I did, however, recently become obsessed with the idea of female ejaculation, which is sometimes called "squirting."  It's not that I don't like the term "squirt" but it's often a misconception to female ejaculation.  Not every woman who ejaculates will shoot her ejaculate across the room!  For some women it's slow and simply runs out of the paraurethral ducts that surround her urethra.  Anyway, this obsession has led me to scour the internet and have more exploratory play both solo and with my husband.

In my explorations with my husband of my G-spot I discovered that I needed a lot of pressure on my G-spot to get any sort of stimulation from it.  I also learned that the thrusting motion was not effective on my G-spot in order to achieve orgasm.  A massaging technique was necessary.  At first it was uncomfortable because I felt like I had to pee a lot even though I had just emptied my bladder.  Not to mention, my G-spot lies deep within my vaginal canal and does not erect very much so My Mr.'s fist up against my vulva with so much pressure just did not feel very good.

These results led to the acquisition of The Amethyst.

The Amethyst :)
I'm going to go on a little side bar and write a little love note to glass.  Mmmm, if you have not tried glass, you should give it a shot!  I'm not kidding, just thinking about a glass piece will make me aroused because it holds unspeakable pleasures.  If you make it cold you can experience the nice shocking sensation of deep temperature differences inside you.  (For those of you who have fantasies involving sparkly vampires, well... now you'll know how Bella felt on her honeymoon!) If you heat it up (aside for any Jacob fantasies...) it feels like having a hot stone massage inside your girlie bits, which is my favorite way to use glass.

Okay, back to The Amethyst.  *sheepishly lazy, satisfied grin*  The full details of my review, along with the video, are available if you follow the link.  However, I will say that the deep curve of this piece is excellent for someone discovering her G-spot.  It hooks right up behind your pubic bone and you're left with a nice handle that makes it easy to use.  I found that rocking The Amethyst along with light vibrations or gentle pressure on my clitoris yielded the best results for me!  This technique has yielded many G-spot orgasms and I finally was able to ejaculate!  It was the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me, sexually, other than My Mr.   (Without his desire to pleasure me, this discovery would never have been made, so truly he is the most exciting thing that has ever happened to me sexually.)   Truly, it was the most freeing orgasm, the first time I had it, because I was able to finally let go of the frustrations and feelings of inadequacy that I had before I was able to do this.

Now, if you are one of those women, who like me, felt that you would never experience the wonder of a G-spot orgasm, my advice would be to relax, be patient, and have fun in the journey!

Happy Hunting!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Best You'll Ever Have, a book review

Since taking this journey into my sexuality, I've been somewhat obsessed with finding literature, forums, anything really that will help me accomplish some of my goals.  Being a BBW naturally eliminates 975 out of 1,000 positions in a Kama Stura book, and probably most of the positions in the "Position of the Day" book, so usually those types of books are not what I look for.

I was at my public library and decided I'd find out what they have about sex when I happened upon this book:  The Best You'll Ever Have, by Shannon Mullen, with Valerie Frankel.  With a tag line that read:  "What every woman should know about getting and giving Knock-Your-Socks-Off Sex," how could I not pick up this book?

This is a very quick read.  I had made it through two sections while sitting in the library waiting for My Mister to finish making his book/CD selection!  By then, I was sure I was taking it home.

In the book, Mullen and Frankel talk about everything from masturbation to anal sex (yes, anal sex for both men and women).  I found it to be very informative and entertaining.  Mullen has a style of writing that is entertaining and still remains professional without being intimidating. 

My Mister even read parts of it and pointed out the sections he most wanted me to read.  Not to mention, he even read some parts of it and coached me into my first multiple orgasm experience!  I'll quote you an excerpt of what he read to coach me:
While multiple orgasms are a lot of fun to aim for, don't ruin the orgasms you already have by pressuring yourself to have more.  The key to multiple orgasms is to surf a wave of pleasure.  So catch a wave and keep on riding instead of waiting for it to break
Needless to say, there is more!  There are about 8 tips for helping yourself to achieve multiple orgasms.  This is not the only subject that Mullen has tips for, either.

What I think makes Mullen so easy to read is that she has done this in person with women for some time.  She founded Safina, which I am unable to determine if it exists anymore.  Safina, however, was a great:  in a living room, you and a bunch of your friends (and possibly your friends' friends) discussing things like orgasms and anal sex and vibrators.  What I think was so great is that there was someone there who was a "professional" in a sense.  Someone to talk to about tips and reassurance in an open and judgment-free environment.

I highly recommend picking up this book.  It is a great resource for any woman who is just beginning to learn how to take advantage of every sexual sensation their body has to offer!

Just a note:  While I'm unsure if Safina still exists or not, you can always check out Babeland who offers education on their website, via consultants, and in their stores.  Babeland is a company created by two women who were looking for a sex-positive, woman-friendly environment to learn about sex and sex toys.  And they DO still exist!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Go-To Satisfaction

I'm finally going to talk toys! If you are a sex toy user, you probably have several things that make the regular rotation of devices you enjoy using during different types of play times.  However, if you are in need of that orgasm, you probably have a toy that you rely on.  A toy that no matter what, no matter where, no matter how hard of a time you're having, it will get you there! 

Of course, I have said toy.  It's not something that you would expect.  I'm not talking Hitachi power or anything.  Just a small, smooth plastic vibrator that gets my clit-a-buzzin'!

It is the Little Honey!  Want to read my review on the Little Honey?  Go here!

Thanks for reading!!!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Body Image and Sex

Whether you are a BBW or an average woman, body image plays a huge role in how we view ourselves sexually.  If you are a woman who is confident in your skin, find yourself to be beautiful and sexy, then you will be more comfortable in the bedroom.  This is not a new truth.  Cosmo and Redbook and every other publication has written hundreds of articles on this very topic. 

So what is it about this very, seemingly, simple concept that keeps writers writing and women flocking to read the articles?  What is it about this topic that has you here today?  I'm sure, like almost every person in America, what you're looking for is the answer to one solitary question.  "How?"  How do you accomplish this very coveted phenomena of confidence and positive body image?

I cannot give you a formula.  I can give you what has worked for me.  I don't think that I came by this accomplishment in an easy way or in a way that I can recommend, because we all know that things don't always work out the way we feel like they should.  So what worked for me?

First of all, I fell in love and married a man who was in love with me and my body.  He has also been in love with my body even though it has grown in our, very nearly decade together.  He loves making me quiver and moan and scream even with ecstasy.  HALLELUJAH! Praise JESUS!  The world needs more men like him, who love their women for the woman they are, not by the pant size they wear! 

Secondly, I forcefully and deliberately eradicated every thought and image about traditional beauty out there.  It is one of the reasons (among many) that we don't watch pornography (not even BBW porn).  If I saw a commercial that talked about beauty and the only woman it showed was a blonde, athletic woman with a tiny waist and pert breasts, I changed the channel.  If I was interested in a magazine article and the only thing it talked about was being a size 2-6 to be appealing to men, I put it back on the rack.  I forced the "inferred truth" that women need to be 36-24-30 with a perfect DD cup to be beautiful OUT of my mind.

Third, I started focusing on the things about myself that I really loved.  I took a long, honest look in the mirror.  Not an easy task, let me tell you.  I focused on the things that I loved about myself.  My eyes, my lips, my breasts, my legs.... and I played them up. 

Fourth, I started working on the things that I didn't like.  Let's face it, it's not healthy to be overweight.  It's not healthy to be super skinny either.  I go to the gym (when my life as a mom and wife and employee don't get in the way).  I try not to eat foods that are not good for me.  I try to eat as cleanly as possible and drink water like I'm planning a trip to the Sahara. 

Oh, and a little side note about going to the gym?  I focus a lot on 1. Flattening my tummy and 2. FLEXIBILITY!  Whoo!  I can keep my legs up a lot longer than I used to and exercise increases libido!
As I said, we've all seen some of these suggestions in magazine articles.  Maybe today is the day you needed to read it. 

Regarding my "First of all" about marrying a man who loves to make me squeal?  It doesn't mean that you should depend on your lover to make you feel confident, because mine doesn't, but after almost 10 years of hearing him tell me that I'm the sexiest woman ever, I finally started taking it to heart.  So, he's not the reason I am confident, but he helped me on that journey. 

Or, if you don't have this kind of man (or woman) in your life, learn to make yourself squeal.  Take a journey to discover your g-spot, buy a new vibrator, or whatever else you've been curious about and learn your body sexually.  It will give you confidence and put you in charge of your own bliss!  You don't have to be small to learn to give yourself an orgasm!  Please... give yourself multiple!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

The Intimacy of Reviewing Toys

In my first post I talked about how I got into reviewing sex toys for Eden Fantasys.  It has only been about a month or so since all this has started and it's been a wild ride!

That being said, it hasn't been without its hiccups.  I don't think that My Mister thought that my foray into the world of sex toys would be so consuming!  He really had no idea that I would be so interested in learning about sex toys, so willing to try new things, so consumed with the community. 

I think our biggest hiccup in this process, however, has been the time we've taken to reassure each other that no matter what comes into the home, we're completely satisfied with each other.  This is strictly a matter of pleasuring each other with some new textures, materials, vibrations, and other various apparatuses.  This is about discovering things within ourselves and within the other person that intensifies our connection. 

If a product arrives in my assignment cart that would take away from, rather than enhance, our connection and intimacy, it gets declined.  Simple as that.  Basically, anything that is modeled after another man/woman (with the exception of the Fleshlight we just received for review... it is supposed to be modeled after Tera Patrick, but we just ignore that part as Fleshlights are high quality toys and I have less issue with "molds" than My Mister does).

I digress.  There is a lot of fun and intimacy in picking toys.  We love looking for items that will help us either achieve my elusive G-Spot orgasm or that will help us fulfill our new fantasies of bondage and exhibitionism.  Just shopping for items together and talking about the different ways we can use them is usually enough to get our engines revving. 

If anyone is looking for a little advice, I would say that if you and your partner are in a bit of a lull state for getting the motors warm, just take a little shopping trip.  You don't even have to buy anything.  But you do need to be honest.  Stay away from things that are uncomfortable or taboo subject matter (again, be honest with each other about what makes you uncomfortable... so if you are turned off by pornography or anal toys, say "No _______________").  Fantasize together about how you'd like to use the product.  Be descriptive.  You'll be shutting down your computer and running up the stairs in no time!

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


We've all seen the web pages for it.  "100% Free Sex Stories."  I used to be grossed out by such a thing!  I used to think it was "wrong" to be turned on by reading something that was so blatantly sexual.

One day, however, I decided to check it out!   What's more?  I started to read them to and with my husband!  YOWZA!  I think we were envisioning ourselves with each other in these stories.  It opened up a whole new level of communication about sexual fantasies and desires.  It also gave us the opportunity to try some things we would have never tried before!  From different positions and orifices to some light BDSM and exhibitionism!

Now mind you, we don't read it all the time.  My Mister gets me going pretty well without any extra stimuli to get me ready for some serious throes of passion, but when we're looking to take it to another level and add a little "sumptin' sumptin'!"  A little erotica will get us right in the frame of mind we want to be in!

The Hows and Whys

My Mister and I were placing an order over at Eden Fantasys and I saw this banner:
"Eden Fantasys Review Program:  Become a Reviewer.  Get Free Toys.  Enjoy Special Discounts."

Ummm... HELL YES! Oh wait, My Mister.

ME:  Honey! Honey! I can get free sex toys!
Mr:  Awesome!  What does it entail.
ME: I just have to write a review.  It has to be pretty detailed though.  I have to talk about our experience with the toy.
Mr: But you get free sex toys?
ME: *nods*
Mr: So, DO IT!  It can be anonymous, right?
ME: Yep.
Mr:  Go for it!


As I have gotten acquainted with the website and the forum I have encountered some amazing people!  There is a system, and you should read into it before jumping on the train, or you may be disappointed. But along with the benefit of choosing items to review, items that are assigned to you free of charge to review, and a 30% discount on an item in return for an unbiased review.... there's also the Eden Points Program, where everything you do on the website, from searching for items to commenting in the forum to turning in a review, will earn you points!  This is such a generous company and they take care of their reviewers.
Now here I am, wanting to expand and explore my sexual side.  To explore the wonders of sex and marriage.  You'll find toy reviews here, sex talk and advice, musings and discoveries of my sexuality, and who knows what else!